I'm not sure if it's the time of year that's making me nostalgic or the fact that I'm pregnant and probably a little too emotional, but lately I've found myself looking back at old photos really often. Whether they be ones from 10 years ago, or snaps we've taken over the last year, It's been something that I've really felt the urge to do lately. I love looking back on our photos and family vlogs, and having these special or even ordinary moments captured in time forever is something that I'm truly grateful to have and cherish so much.
It's really struck me in the last few months just how much Archie has changed and grown over the past year. It's so much easier to see the dramatic change in them across their first year, from tiny newborns to clumsy, wobbly toddler in just 365 days, but as they get into the fully fledged toddler years, you don't notice as much of a change with each day that goes by, but suddenly a photo from earlier in the year will pop up and he seems so small and squishy. For ages he was a tiny dot with the littlest legs, but now he seems to have gotten so much taller, and huge feet! People have commented that he'll be taller than me soon (which, I hope for his sake he is!) We have a large mirror at the top of our stairs and every night I've taken him up to bed and looked at us both in that mirror. And even though now he walks ahead of me with ease, and we make silly faces to each other through the glass, every night I see a flash of me carrying my newborn baby to bed in my arms and I feel so proud of how much he's grown and developed into who he is now.
In the last year I feel we have bonded more than ever before. And even though I miss my newborn Archie, and I'm so excited to have a newborn again, to cuddle and hold and smell that newborn baby smell, having a little buddy to talk to has become so rewarding. I sometimes found it a struggle in those first few months. I loved him so unconditionally but I wasn't prepared for him to not always show that love back to me. He's always been fiercely independent, and whilst that makes me happy and has helped that he's had the confidence to throw himself into situations that I thought might worry him, or make friends with other children or talk to adults, I sometimes wished for him to need me more. In the last year, we really have developed the strongest bond and in many ways it's like having a little best friend.
I feel like a mother and child have an unbreakable bond from the moment your baby is born, and I felt it instantly when I looked at him for the first time, but I also feel like it's something you have to work on and nurture throughout their whole life, and, maybe naively, I didn't realise this first time around. It’s difficult not to put yourself under pressure when it comes to things like this. Since becoming pregnant again, it's made me think a lot about what I'll do to make sure I have a strong and special bond with this baby. It's made me more aware of every kick and movement, and I never take one for granted as I know that in the grand scheme of things, being pregnant is such a short chapter in your life. I recently chatted to some wonderful mum's & baby experts for Huggies Newborn Wipes, we spoke about bonding with your baby in lots of different ways, the importance of choosing natural products and their experiences since becoming Mum's and it was really eye opening to hear their views. They've all been mum's longer than myself, and kindly offered me lots of advice which I've fully taken on board for when this baby is born. I think it's a reassuring watch for both new mum's to be and those of us that are doing this second, third or even fourth time around! I won't give too much away as the video below says it all really, but I do know that I can't wait for the day that I see the reflection of my new little family of four in that mirror making our way upstairs for bedtime.
This video is in collaboration with Huggies Newborn Wipes